A New Year of Joy and Lightness
It’s been a while since I’ve written here, but as I was writing my monthly email I couldn’t stop writing and decided to turn my thoughts into this blog post. Last year was hard, this year will also be hard, but I feel like I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel instead of feeling like I’m in a dark cave. I have been reminded that despite everything going on in the world, we ALL still deserve to feel joyful, celebrations are still worth doing, and I generally feel better and lighter when I have this outlook. My word for 2021 is JOY! I did not feel very joyful last year, much of the year felt heavy and for good reason, but I’m ready to bring joy back into my life and especially into my mindset.
I keep coming back to my favorite Fred Rogers quote/story: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." Even now we can look for everything that is negative and heavy, or we can look for the joy, the bright spots, the goodness, and the helpers that are out there - teachers, grocery store workers, healthcare workers, business owners who have pivoted to make things work, parents who are juggling so much, fellow citizens who are wearing masks, the scientists who have generated these vaccines, the test subjects who tested the vaccines efficacy, delivery and postal workers who are delivering the vaccine and so many things we are ordering so we can remain safe at home. This is not to say be naive and forget about the negative things, it is to ask honestly how are you balancing your input and mindset. Though it does take training, discipline, and consistency, we do have some control over our mindset and what we put our energy and time into.
I fully understand that I can choose this mindset out of privilege - I have had years of stability in my meditation and movement practice; my husband and I are healthy, happy, and employed; our families are healthy and we are able to connect to them through technology; we do not have kids at home to juggle our attention; and so much more. However, it should be noted, I am not an optimist by nature, and to be honest joy to me is the most vulnerable feeling - when things are joyful I anticipate things going wrong, or something to be taken from me based on my past, so I am often guarded and try to be sure I'm not too happy. So for me mindset work and the practice of joy do require A LOT of discipline - thank you therapy, movement, breathing, and journaling! Because of this privilege and my experiences, I have the honor to share some of what is helping me have this outlook and what I will rely on on the days I don’t.
My favorite meditation tools right now are:
Waking Up (here is a link to a free month) an app hosted by Sam Harris with a great introductory course, and daily meditations, courses on meditation, and conversations with a subscription.
Meditation Studio an app and website with lots of free content and lots more if you have a subscription.
There are tons of other meditation tools and courses out there, we were even looking through Netflix the other night and saw that Headspace has some free meditations with the cutest animations (this is how I got started with meditation). Calm, Insight Timer, Ziva and Headspace are all courses/apps I have used at some point on my meditation journey as well.
Please note, meditation is not for everyone at all times. If this practice doesn’t work for you there is nothing wrong with you and things like walking, coloring/drawing, playing sports, etc. can also be meditative. Seated meditation can bring up lots of emotions and things from your past, and I am not shy to admit that I go to therapy and have a life coach with whom I continue to work through a lot of my past and present. This has helped me mentally and emotionally feel well enough to sit with myself in silence.
I also have some set daily routines I do that really ground me and fill me up, start with just one thing that is nourishing to you. Examples of some of my daily routines are:
morning hygiene things like: tongue scraping, rinsing my face with cold water, flossing, drinking a full 12-16oz of water, slowing down after my shower to oil my skin
meditation (see above) - this happens most every day for me for 8-10mins
journaling or drawing at some point each day to reflect or mind wander
movement, rolling, and breathing - check out my online library for some free resources
a daily walk outside with our dogs - yes even when it's cold, time outside makes such a difference in my mood
playing and laying with our dogs - animals can be so therapuetic
putting on music and singing or dancing often while preparing a meal - try this and just see how your mindset changes
eating nourishing food - cooking has been hard for me recently, but do I feel better when I eat well!
having a treat without guilt on days I need one - some days I just need the ice cream and/or chocolate
I hope some of these are helpful for you, and remember it won’t always be easy, but notice how you feel after you practice some of these things. Here’s to a year of joy and lightness, even when things are heavy, even when you don’t have it all day but maybe you can find it just for one song or one breath!